"the greatest work we will ever do will be within the walls of our own home."

Tag: Madison

{Second Born}

IMG_6320I thought I’d write a little bit about this girl – before I met her. I shared a little bit on Insta and FB about my fears prior to Madison’s birth. I got so many great comments on both posts plus text’s telling me how encouraging it was. It got me thinking. Honesty. Guys, we need more honesty in this world. It’s not always rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes days are tough. Being a mom is hard – let’s lift each other up, always!

When we decided on baby #2 we were so excited! We couldn’t wait to get pregnant and have a new little babe to love on. As soon as we found out we were expecting Madison – it was hard. I mean hard. I was exhausted all the time. I was sick all day. I felt physically awful, which caused me to be in the worst mood for what felt like all the time. Which then caused me to feel like the worst wife and mother on the planet. And this caused me to really question if we made the right choice on #2. Everyday was hard – was this a glimpse of what this child was going to be like? Every doctors appointment, I felt like something went wrong. Which included once not being able to find the heart beat.

I never felt like myself. I was sad and uncomfortable and scared. I was scared I wouldn’t love her like I did her sister. I was scared of how Hayden would react to sharing her parents. Would she resent me? Would I resent the baby? Looking back it all seems ridiculous now. But then, then it was real and it was terrifying.

Sean made a comment when we got home from the hospital… something along the lines of “as soon as she was here, it’s like I looked at you and thought ‘oh, there’s my wife'”. And that’s how it felt. As soon as she arrived suddenly I felt like myself again. And Madison? I was head over heels instantly. This little girl continues to amaze me daily. She’s everything we never knew we were missing.

And the heart expands a little more.

xoxo, Elizabeth

{10 days old & Big Sister Stuff}

I’ve been referring to Madison as my little dream baby because seriously, she’s a little dream! Sure, she’s an infant and waking multiple times at night but I don’t even mind. She’s such a good baby. Most of the time at night time I have to wake her up after a few hours to feed her. She’s so calm, smiley and easy going!

Hayden has far exceeded what I thought she would be in her new role. I KNEW she would love her baby sister and I knew she’d be a great big sister but I did think it would take her some adjusting. I was wrong. She slid right into “Big Sister” with helpful hands and a smile on her face. When the girls met in the hospital Hayden was definitely overwhelmed. She had just seen me the whole day saying my belly hurt, which is how I explained my contractions to her, so with that and hooked up to everything I’m sure was a little concerning for her. But then she saw her baby sister and she was enthralled.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She knew. Right away. “Bebe Sisser” “Bebe Madsi”. Heart Melted!

We’ve been adjusting to life at home pretty well. Hayden asks to be held a lot which we expected. And honestly, Sean and I are soaking that right up from our little independent girl.


 

So basically I’m on cloud9. I’ve had plenty of help “making” bottles, feeding the baby, changing diapers and tons of baby snuggles. Loving every second of this time with my girls!! This holiday season I’m feeling extra thankful and extra blessed! Can’t think of anything more I could possibly need. Blessed Wife. Blessed Mama.

xoxo, Elizabeth

{Madison Malissa}

When Friday’s doctors appointment came and went (which happened to be my due date) without any progress I was slightly discouraged. I was so ready to meet our little babe and yet I was trying to wait until she was ready. My doctor is amazing. We discussed our options, set a plan – which was waiting until the following Friday to talk about being induced and he told me to just call him if I changed my mind and we’d meet at the hospital.

40weeks 1day

Saturday was spent at the mall walking around and playing with Hayden. I was pretty convinced Madison was hanging out for a few more days and even told Sean we could call on Monday to schedule to be induced. I was doubting very much that she would ever come LOL! I woke up Sunday morning around 430 to very familiar pains. I started tracking them and tried resting. I didn’t tell Sean I was having them until around 9 because I didn’t want to get his hopes up. After I told him we left H with my mom and got some of our last to-dos done.

Contractions went from 10-20 mins apart to pretty consistently 10mins apart and holding on for 1.5-2mins. This is apparently (according to my Dr.) the point that I should’ve gone in… So, for the record. You go into the hospital when contractions are 5mins apart and holding for a minute OR if they are super long (1.5-2mins) and hard. Good to know! 😑 I was so worried about being sent home that I figured I’d hang out “just a little longer” and a little longer… And then they hit 4-6mins apart and really took my breath away. We got our things together and got Hayden ready to leave for dinner with her Gramma.

We got to the hospital around 5:45 and I told Sean I could walk myself in to get checked in while he parked. And I did. Got checked in, examined and surprise, “oh, ok. Guys I’m bringing a patient up……………………… 9cm with a bulging bag.” To which I responded “IM WHAT?! Can I still have the epidural?!” 😂 I was moved very quickly from triage to labor & delivery and then it was a whirlwind of nurses, my doctor and lord only knows who else. I was loaded with IV fluids and given my epidural, 10mins later we were pushing and a couple minutes after that there she was. My epidural kicked in shortly after my little one was in my arms 😐 yay for that


  

So maybe next time we leave for the hospital just a bit sooner 😉

Madison Malissa Ryan was born on 11/15/15 at 7:08pm. Weighing 8lbs 7oz and 20.5inches long. Looking just like her big sister!

We decided to have a photographer with us this time because I really wanted clear memories of this moment and I am so SO glad I did!! For most of Sams time with us I didn’t even know she was there – seriously y’all.. You’re kinda just focused on the task at hand haha! And she was super stealthy. She caught some amazing moments that would have otherwise been completely forgotten. She froze time.

I don’t think I fully appreciated Seans support through this until I saw those pictures. He was in the thick of it right there with me. Working right along side me and helped bring our girl into this world. I’m forever thankful to Sam for freezing one of the best days of my life for me. And forever thankful for my husband! Because while, let’s be real, I would have gotten through that just fine without him there but goodness having him by my side sure made it that much easier.

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I’ll be writing about Miss Mad’s first week here shortly. For now, I’ve got a teeny baby to snuggle <3

xoxo, Elizabeth

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